In offices and schools everywhere, people are spending an absurd amount of time sheltering in dingy toilet cubicles.
Why?
– Because it’s the only place they can find that is quiet, away from people, and low‑stimulation.
– It’s the only place where they can soothe their nervous system, stop talking, avoid constant interruption, and drop the mask for a moment.
– It’s the only place they can do all of this without judgment.
And how do I know this?
Because almost every neurodivergent client I’ve ever worked with has told me this is what they do:
– Young children.
– Teenagers.
– High‑powered executives.
– Managers, policy‑makers, healthcare workers, lawyers, politicians.
Different ages, different roles, different lives — same story.
The toilet is the only space available to decompress, recharge, protect themselves from sensory overload, respect their social battery, and find a moment of peace.
I know it because I’ve done it too.
And so has my daughter.
It’s sad — and frankly degrading — that something so reasonable and essential as a calm, low‑stimulation space is so rarely available that people end up hiding in an unsanitary, slightly depressing, often smelly cubicle just to regulate their nervous system.
Our children and young people deserve more.
We deserve more.
And if you’re reading this thinking, “Nope, we have a wellbeing space — this doesn’t happen here,” I’d invite you to check a few things:
– Can people get to that space without everyone asking where they’re going?
– Can they reach it without passing through busy, noisy, overwhelming environments?
– Is it genuinely low‑stimulation — lights, noise, smells, textures?
– Is it free from smelly lunches, relocated meetings, or groups socialising in there?
– Do employees actually have enough breaks to make use of it?
If the answer to all of those is yes, then I’m sending you a huge, grateful hug on behalf of every neurodivergent person in your organisation.
If not, please speak to the neurodivergent people on your staff:
Ask them what they need.
And ask them how much time they spend in the toilets…you may be surprised by their answer!
We can do better than toilet cubicles.
And we must.
.